sometimes...

we had some little friends over today for a couple of hours. jessa and i were introducing a new game to the boys called chicky boom {a super cute all wooden game by blue orange}, with miley girl throwing a major fit next to me. i was trying to calm her down, saying things like, "shh...miley, we don't act like that."

before i knew it, one of the boys turned to me and curiously {and completely serious} asked, "is her name whiny?" apparently, miley sounded like whiny...and with perfectly good reason.

behind a small giggle i was so tempted to say, "why yes, yes it is."

but i didn't.

oh, how i love you, miley. thank you for challenging me to learn and grow as your mommy every day.

age five.

there's nothing like having a five year old ask you questions about life/death, God, heaven, and forever-ness that, in explaining it in 3 ft terms, helps keep it simple for your own life. let me break it down...

on the way home from the store today, jessa was firing away all kinds of questions about Jesus, God, and all things heavenly.

"God can see us everywhere we go. But how does He get here?"

"Where is Jesus? Where's God? What is a throne?"

"Are we going to die really soon? I don't want to die, but I'm not scared to die."

"When daddy gets really, really, really, really old, is he going to die too? Like in 'UP'?"

"Where is heaven? Is it in the sky?"

"Does everybody love Jesus?"

"What does God look like?"

after playing twenty questions, i realized she's at a pivotal age of soaking in the things of eternity. the concepts of the divine. and the understandings of who God is in her own life. things that go a little beyond the Creator of the blue sky and the green grass. things that reach a little deeper than 'bless this food to my body'. she's at the age where her imagination can become truth. and that's really, really cool stuff. after all, it was five that found me knelt by my bedside finding the same hope she's discovering. a time i'll never forget, with my mom right by my own side.

her simplistically complicated questions caused a little probing of the heart in myself. i tend to make my life a bit more complicated than it really is. i'm good at taking my circumstances and robbing them of the true experience they really are in the sight of God's will. i'm a pro at pitying myself for hardship, when in fact, it's a gift that's used to draw me closer to the Lord. i take challenges and forget to call them blessings. i tend to use the term joy only when i'm happy, when i'm called to 'rejoice always!'

with all of my adult-complicated-over-justifying behavior, i have a little girl to remind me that Jesus came in love and grace. He died. He rose. He lives. He has a plan. it's a beautiful, un-complicated plan that brings restoration to 'dying' people. and along the way, we're called to forgive, praise, hope, and endure.

Lord,

even when i'm feeling defeated, i pray you put victory in my heart and use it as a living sacrifice of praise.

Meatballs.

One night at the dinner table our blond, curly-haired, 6-year-old son sat remarkably still in his yellow booster seat, carefully examining his plate of spaghetti. He slowly stirred the noodles and sauce around with his little fork. “What’s the matter Jake?” I asked. He looked up at me with his big brown eyes, sighed so deeply his shoulders moved up and down, and said, “Sometimes you get a meatball, sometimes you don’t.” Then he scooped up a forkful of noodles, smiled and started eating.

"But the reality is that sometimes life isn’t fair"

He didn't get a meatball. And his two brothers got lots of meatballs, but he was willing to accept the fact that tonight he didn’t get a single one. After Jake’s comment I almost jumped up, counted the other boys’ meatballs and gave Jake the same number, just to be fair.

But the reality is that sometimes life isn’t fair. Sometimes we lose our jobs, sometimes a family member gets sick, and sometimes even our marriages are difficult. Other times we have plenty. Our children are healthy, our homes are warm, and we have more than enough to eat. The trick is learning to find contentment in any situation. Like Jake said, sometimes you get a meatball and sometimes you don’t.

Lord, help me to be content in each and every circumstance I encounter in life, and to teach my children the art of living a life of contentment.

By Jean Blackmer, Publishing Manager for MOPS International's Mom-E-mail

on a few wednesday words.

-first of all, chris {see post below} is doing exceptionally well in comparison to last night. i have no doubt that his fever breaking was the work of loving and merciful hands from our most faithful Physician. thank you for lifting him up and calling on the name of the Lord on his behalf.


-i forgot to mention jessa's favorite word; i asked her this about a week ago after watching word girl on qubo. it was the sweetest response as she said, without prompting, "beat-iful". and just today, she put it into use as she told miley something even sweeter in secret {i am oh-so-thankful that i overheard them in the bathroom as jess was getting ready}. jessa complimented miley saying, "you are such a beautiful sister, miley." can we please just have moments like these every. day. of. the. week? please? cause that would be just awesome.


-we have the joy of adding two year old twins to our day today. caleb and alethia are buddies of the girl's and needed someone to care for them while mommy went to work. i am happy to report all four children are sleeping at one time. don't ask me to attempt that again because i'm not really sure how i pulled that off. *wink. we are having so much fun together...they are the most laid back two year olds i think i've ever met, since jessa {she was an uber-easy toddler}.


-i can't believe it's wednesday already. the twenty-third nonetheless. my mom comes tomorrow!! and i'm not sure it's really sunk in yet. some days, i feel like we're on a completely different planet, incapable of having visitors from our home planet. as crazy as that sounds, i miss them all so much and am amazed that we get the blessing of my mama for two weeks! my bestest friend is coming to town {this deserves a very apparent happy dance with the involvement of my girls...and the hubby too, he's pretty stoked}! *big smiles


-our second preschool playdate commences tomorrow morning before i head to the airport. we're going to start our abc's, with the focus on finding words/stories/people from the bible that start with "A" {ex: 'adam', 'abraham', 'animal creation'...}. i will most likely focus on one letter from the alphabet for two full days, maybe even more. giving time to its sound, its shape, and how and where to use it. there are endless bible themed coloring pages online, including coloring pages for pretty much anything you can think of. it's a bit ridiculous how many free resources are out there {games, curriculum, activities, crafts, cut-outs and templates, etc.}...besides completely sucking my time, you won't find me complaining. *wink


-the hubby has a really full week. being half-way done, i'm impressed at how well he's holding it together, but not one bit surprised. a 36 hour work week on top of classes and studying for 12 credits is just the beginning. and he still manages to make time for his girls...me included. *smile


-praying each one of you feels the blessing and joy that comes from knowing a wonderful and loving God.

a purely awesome day.

this past week/weekend has been full of preparations {photo id's, mmpi tests, biblical assessment tests, orientation, prof introductions, leadership meetings, syllabus overviews, [more] book buying...and lots of praying *wink} before starting school next week.

this coming tuesday is the big day.

thursday was a monumental day in the journey of our seminary training. it was the new student orientation and it solidified a very important point for us. as we sat there, surrounded by an environment of prestigious faculty with a solid biblical heritage that is the foundation of this 'harvard of evangelical schools', we were reminded of one of the many great truths of the God we serve. that is, He is in control. He had put us in those chapel seats for that moment. a moment of realization - that the next few years are going to change our life. we will change the way we love God, wholly, and the way we love others.

we have a plan built for us that is intentional. soaked in integrity and integrated with His truth. we are humbled that we have been called here.

the hubby specified it perfectly saying, "i feel spoiled. it's a privilege to have been accepted. it feels like i get to enjoy a four year bible camp." i quickly added "bible boot camp" at the end of his quotation. the work is going to be hard for him, but i have no doubt he is fully capable to achieve beyond what he's called to do. that's just the way he is and what makes me proud to stand next to him.

it's so easy to get trapped in the temptations of doubt. one of the things i appreciated the most were the key note speakers, including the president, dr. bailey, who focused on the daily challenges the students {and their families} may possibly face. things like balancing our time between studies, work, family and required ministry hours. things like not giving up {a favorite quote: "it's always too soon to quit."}. things like intentionally developing a relationship with someone that is different than you. things that challenge us to think and act for the better. the best theology that was stated yesterday was this: "you have been ordained to be here...God is in control." things don't have to be complicated to be profound. amen? amen.

as we find ourselves quickly {and what seems like suddenly} delving into the aspect of studying on this journey, we want to function with perspective. a perspective that is rooted in focusing on the word of a true and living God.

and to take heed of my favorite quote from our day at orientation by dr. donald campbell:

"don't doubt in the dark what God told you in the light."

-dr. donald campbell, 3rd president of dallas theological seminary

the age old question.

so, i was watching [another] ridiculous reality show after the girls went to bed and the hubby was at work and heard this questioned asked & answered. i just had to laugh and for those of you that can relate, i'm sure you will too. well, maybe.

question to said girl: "do you see yourself as a career woman or a stay at home mom?"

answer from said girl: "definitely a career woman...i need to stay busy."

haha? i thought so.

props to the mom who does both! *wink

according to jessa...

..."h" stands for "how do you do!" makes her giggle every time she says it.

..."you want to see this fry disappear?" she asks with a mischievous smile smeared across her cute face at our lunch table. she proceeds to trade the french fry from one hand to the other ever so nonchalantly, just like a true magician. we're watching in anticipation. she quickly shoves the fry into her mouth and bursts into a round of laughs...we can't help but join her, and wonder, "where in the world did she learn that?"

..."daddy, you're a precious daddy!"

a little quote goodness.

jessa just got done drawing a picture on a plain piece of white canvas called printer paper and solemnly stated,

"look! he's sad...", in response to a cute little stick figure with spiky hair and a small frown.

"why is he sad?", i asked.

"he's grumpy", she responded.

"why is he grumpy? what happened to him?", i pried further.

"he needs Jesus."

"we are a family again" - jessa

she couldn't have said it better.

i got in last night at 7:45pm, even though my body clock was telling me it was 3:45am. today has been completely what i expected...swollen eyes, lazy snuggles, lots of gift giving and mmm, french fries. american french fries. *smile. i had me a craving for some good 'ol american food. which strange, because the food in france was my absolute favorite.

anyway, i'm completely exhausted. i will start making phone calls later in the week. i also have to start packing because, oh yeah, we move in 3 1/2 weeks. what?!

i've also already uploaded my totaled 2,400 pics and will start posting a few day by day. i'm excited to show you!

oh, and by the way, miley is WALKING!!

this haircut does it.

you know when you've reached that moment of true hair bliss? everything in the hair universe seems to be working together to create that perfect do? if there was one style to truly define this little girl's personality, this haircut totally does it.

it felt very refreshing to take her out of the house and do something special. with the girls still not feeling well, it was a treat to breathe fresh air without jess suffocating through her long tangles dangling in her face. it was getting a bit out of control. we can both breathe easier now that we won't fight nasty snares nearly as often. we would both brush and brush in hopes of overcoming our daily battle, but the moment we would step foot outside the door - and i mean the bathroom door - we'd see evidence of the messy monster. a never-ending struggle. but now, not only is it spunky, sassy and stylish...it is tangle-free. for now. oh, and under ten bucks (the small pinch of frugality in me is very happy about that one).

with her new do came a new motto, apparently. i found her in the kitchen dancing to the beat of her own chant singing, "live your poss-i-bilities! live your poss-i-bilities...!" i found it quite profound for a four year old. i might have to take her up on that one.

and jess, i'm totally rockin' your new haircut. i love it! so you!

oh, jessa. part 2.

jessa: "i want to go to the store and get a dog. a real human-dog."

me: "a human-dog? what's a human-dog?"

jessa: "a dog that says, 'my name is huntchell'. a human-dog (so matter-of-factly)."

oh, jessa.

1) after completing a monstrosity of a task and boasting about it, jessa phews,"that was a heart attack!"

2) after catching the hubby and i smooching in the kitchen from her living room view (this is a favorite pastime of ours - but very visually appropriate for four year old eyes - now that we have that covered), jessa smears her hand across her mouth and says, "uck!" while managing to keep a huge smile on her face.

3) after shutting miley in their bedroom, while she stands outside of it, jessa says,"hunny is locked in the castle." i quickly find out they are playing beauty and the beast.

leave it to the boys.

a conversation with the hubby as he arrived home from work:

jacob: "i made ten bucks today."

beth: (totally thinking he made a sweet tip. you know, something "work" related?) "awesome, hunny."

jacob: "yeah. the guys dared me to jump in the snow with my shirt off."

beth: (ah uh. trying to hold back the major smiles eeking through my mouth) "maybe not so awesome, hunny."

now i know why they only have to give three work sundays out of the year. do they ever get anything done on this seventh day of rest? i think not.

twenty-five days of christmas #11

11. our little miss birthday girl. when there are only ten days left of christmas, there is only one thing on our minds. happy birthday jessa! the wonderful gift we were blessed with when our first baby was born. four years ago, the sweet face of jessa looked back at me as i held her for the first time. and today was filled with moments that made the day extra special. a morning of ariel. a lunch playdate with myah at mcdonalds. a long afternoon nap because even birthday princesses need their beauty sleep. a day full of super special birthday phone calls and wishes. a yummy taco dinner. a cupcake to top it off. a christmas movie with mommy and daddy. and lots of root beer. and a quote that finishes off the day like no other,

"it's hard work to play." -jessa

we love you sooo much, jessa marie. our wish for you is to grow in Jesus every day, loving Him with all of your heart. and to always consider others above yourself. these two things will always be our prayer for you. happy sweet birthday!

another jessa moment.

me: "i need to go take a shower."

jessa: "why?"

me: "because i'm stinky. and you're not going to want to be around me if i don't."

jessa: "but just the way you are, i like you."

and then my heart became a melted mushy pile upon the floor.

a sunday morning conversation. with poo-poo.

this is something that i would only remember and save for my blog. to share with my devoted and friendly readers. so, in honor of you and brought to you by jessa. please enjoy.

let me set the scene.

we arrived home from church and after grabbing our starbucks delight and pumpkin loaf, we were happily enjoying our treat. sunday mornings, jess takes an early nap, before lunch, so that we can eat together at one when she wakes up. she exclaimed she had to "go poo-poo" before nap time. i then responded, "well you better go then."

after a few moments, i peeked my head in the bathroom to see how she was doing. she was singing to a happy tune. to her poo-poo. "where are you poo-poo? where are you poo-poo? cooome on. cooome on." i left her alone to her serenade.

a few more moments had passed as she then exclaimed loudly that she was done. i went to do my motherly, loving sanitary duty and noticed there was no poo-poo in the pot. i asked cautiously, "where's your poo-poo?" to this, she sadly admitted, "i don't know. i couldn't find it."

if it couldn't get any better, she replayed her attempt at trying to find it by re-singing and reenacting her theatrical performance. it ended with a simple laugh and shrug on her part. and a meager, "i guess i just don't know."

it never gets old.

watching a show about the island of curacao...

jessa: "we have to go there later."
me: "that would be fun. maybe someday."
jessa: "maybe on sunday we go there."
me: "sunday?"
jessa: "yeah. and papa and grammy can come too. and i can take my clothes off."
me: "take your clothes off?" while almost choking on air.
jess: "yeah. i take all my clothes off and go in the...ummm...the big pond."
me: "the ocean?"
jessa: "yeah. and look for crabs. and spiiiders." with a silly laugh.

conversation piece{s}.

piece #1
jessa: "mama? you love daddy?"
me: "yes, hunny. i love daddy very much!"
jessa: "why?"
me: "daddy is my husband. he is my love. my prince (as an avid fan of the disney princesses, i thought this would paint her a perfect picture). God made daddy just for me. just like if you get married someday, God will have made your husband just for you."
jessa: "oh. i think i understand."

piece #2
jessa: "mama, i want to play with myah."
me: "hunny, what did i say (this has been repeated for the ump-millionth time)? you are sick and cannot play today."
jessa: "i'm not sick anymore (between hacking up flem)."
me: "please don't argue with me."
jessa: "but i'm so beautiful."
me: while thinking to myself, 'where does she get this stuff from?', "yes, you are very beautiful, but that doesn't make it okay to argue with me."

piece #3
me: "jessa, who is going to live in this house?"
jessa: with a big smile beaming across her face, "andy, heidi and mikey! and mikey will play in my room."
me: "that's right. mikey will live in your room. and we will get a brand new place..."
jessa: quickly chiming in, "but i want to take my books."
me: "oh, of course. you can take all of your toys and belongings."
jessa: "my purse. my dresses..."
me: "yup. and we'll take all of our furniture. our couches. our pictures. our vases. your chair."
jessa: "and daddy's hat."
me: "yes, we will take daddy's hat too."

a funny story to add.

this morning, i told jessa she might want to go pick something out to wear for the day since we were thinking about getting ready to head out for family errands. i love mondays! anyway, she is really great about finding something that matches and proudly displays them on her runway, also known as the hallway. she's also always very eager to get going and manages to get dressed within minutes. maybe even just one. this includes shoes, purse and necessary jewelry.

this morning, i was in the bathroom putting on my face and straightening my hair when i see her prance out of her bedroom. she exclaims, "k, i'm ready!" with a flick of her hip and swing of her purse on her shoulder. i look at her and start laughing. she picked out an adorable teal long-sleeved shirt, her white sandals, her princess purse and...well, no pants. just teal panties. at least they match her shirt, right? i cracked up and told her to go show daddy. she responded with complete normality and proceeded to show daddy her gorgeous outfit. meanwhile, i'm still laughing. she comes back to me and tells me, "i have no more pants, come see. sorry." her sorry was so simple. like nothing out of the ordinary. 'well, if i don't have pants, then i just settle for this'. she showed me that she had no more pants in her drawer. i helped her dig a pair out and took away this simple truth. do laundry. like today.

oh, and this great, exciting thing happened today. we stopped at starbucks for our morning coffee together before home depot (it's kind of a tradition) and started handing the nice guy the money for our drinks. we won't acknowledge the amount. but today, it didn't matter. he told us, "your drinks are on us today! it's called 'delight and surprise'." well, fancy that! it worked cause we sure were delighted and most definitely surprised. apparently, they take the gift cards that are unused or left behind and use them at random times. we hit the starbucks jackpot. yay for starbucks - and thanks for the free {not cheap} drinks!

food for the soul.

God is magnificent; He can never be praised enough. there are no boundaries to His greatness. Your marvelous doings are headline news; I could write a book full of the details of your greatness. God is all mercy and grace--not quick to anger, is rich in love. God is good to one and all; everything He does is suffused with grace.

Psalm 145: 3,6,8-9 david's praise from the Message

thank you, david, for reminding me to open my eyes and heart to the goodness of His grace.

i humble myself.