creative passion? where?

i've been thinking about this one alot. pondering. rationalizing. trying to figure out why i don't delve into my creative side more often. perhaps i've just defined it in other ways...for now. i miss scrapbooking. i miss my little family that i worked with. felt like living with at times, in the early years. i've met up with, hung out and ran into many members of this family over the last year. i'm not sure if my sentimental flashback is based on the fact that we're coming up on a year of 'closin-up shop'. mid-october will be a year.

i can't explain the feeling of knowing i had a place to go to and surround myself in yummy goodness of color, paper and embellishments. to be able to pick up a piece of paper and feel its texture. see its vibrancy of color. you can't get that from shopping off of a computer screen or flipping your fingers through a magazine. not even close. you can't even find it in a general craft store that 'happens' to have a scrapbook section in the corner. it just doesn't offer the same feeling. the same rush. i easily know i'm not the only one that feels this way. we had quite a following of customers and friends that walked through those doors on a weekly basis. it was a hang out. a place of comfort. a place to relax. chill if you will. it sparked creativity even in the ones who called themselves "uncreative" (and i am one that doesn't believe in that word). it had something to offer everyone.

my little shop i've set up for myself at home is now being put away into sheltered boxes. having to say goodbye for awhile is probably why i lack the juices flowin'. i've turned my creative energy, what's left of it, into thrift shopping, blogging and...more blogging. honestly, i think i've pumped out two or three 8x8 pages for miley's little album so far. how pathetic is that? really. poor girl, good thing love isn't defined in how many scrapbook pages you produce for your child by the time they turn five months.

i know i haven't {and never will} completely lose the passion for scrapbooking. because, after all, to me, it's celebrating the everyday. it's capturing the moments that i too easily forget. it's remembering the little things the girls say and do. it's lifting up the personalities of people in my life. it's documenting the challenges we face together. realizing that everyday is a gift. a blessing. a chance to give glory. and yes, i do believe i can give God glory through scrapbooking. because i do. and i guess that's exactly why i want to do more of it. it keeps my eyes open to my world. it gives me an attitude of gratefulness. creativity gives me a new set of eyes, looking through a lens of sheer beauty for life. i would get such a 'creative high' when i would teach my classes. i loved being a tool to help empower women (and a few men) to reach a goal they thought was unattainable. to watch their faces shine with creative pride. it's a thing of beauty.

for me, this is a step in the process. blogging. journaling. documenting the flow of words and thought. one of the most important steps to the process, i might add. it's the meat to the finished product. the heart. the feeling. however, i do understand that words do not always add to a picture. sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words. a thousand unspoken words. ahh...pictures. sacred eye candy that should be saved for another precious post. okay, where was i? oh yes, words. scrapbooking. creativeness. all the things i feel i am missing in emptiness at the moment.

let's just hope my passion didn't get boxed up along with my pictures, paper and punches. i would really like to see it again in the next four years...