prepare my heart.

it had to be coming. i should have expected it with every ounce of my being.

i should have been more prepared.

i was on a happy track of counting my blessings and numbering them one by one. i joined that community of being grateful and what do you know...

today, i have a very frustrating day!

i should have been more prepared.

i was told and believed that it would change my perspective. it would open the eyes of my heart. it would change the way i saw things.

i should have been more prepared.

it started with a quite large unexpected bill in the mail. followed by a confusing phone call. and then a sick baby girl. then a trip to the dreaded {and very scary} health benefits office, joined by two schizophrenics and one released jailbird. this was after a very intrusive and rude phone call to the operator's office {which almost left me in tears}. meanwhile, it's the first day of classes for one slightly overwhelmed hubby. this isn't how i pictured it.

i should have been more prepared.

i'm not quite sure why i expected things to suddenly fall nicely in place and for "it's a small world after all" to be the soundtrack of my new days {that might actually be more annoying than anything}. i'm not sure why i thought i'd be on some joyful cloud 24/7. we all know that's not the nature of our being. we all know it takes time. even good habits take time to sink in.

i should have been more prepared.

i should have understood from past experience that the enemy creeps when we're on a steady path. he slithers through, ready for attack. he muddles our perspectives. he waits.

i should have been more prepared.

i need to guard my heart with more caution. i need to continue running with godly perspective. i need to put up my armor against daily battles. whether big or small. i need to gaze with eyes of thankfulness. always. i need to give myself more time. i need to give the Lord more time to work and not be so hasty. i need to practice patience and be reminded that His glory is found even in the mud of life.

after practicing awareness and positivity in negative circumstances {the kind that you want to punch in the face} i'm in a more calm and soothing place {if you ignore the previous aggressive remark *wink}. a place of peace amidst a small and tiny storm.

and next time...

i will be more prepared. *this may or may not involve boxing gloves

Lord, give me grace today.

with that, i will continue running my race of gratitude and leave with my gracious gifts from yesterday...

26. husband home early.

27. coffee in hand.

28. soft blankie in tightly clenched baby arms.

29. a shared bowl of fishy crackers.

30. generous adorable hand-me-downs from new friends.

31. life-impacting messages.

32. mountaintop experiences.

33. the Lord's impeccable sovereignty.

34. yummy crispy homemade burritos.

35. back rubs.