profile of my day.

it started with the moment my eyes barely creased open as i lay still snuggled under the warmth of my covers. the floor fan still blasting its cool breeze in my direction. i always have a hard time getting out of bed with the fan going; i don't like being welcomed to a new day by a cold front coming in.

i caught an unwelcome glimpse of myself in the closet mirror. eek. for a moment, i thought i had permanent donuts plastered around my eyes. the swelling was obvious. the need for more sleep was obvious. the tiredness was beyond obvious. now, i not only was shivering from my in-bedroom weather system, but also at the thought of bringing my puffy eyes back into the world.

the morning forecast didn't look good.

i don't know how, but my weak and lethargic body *flumped* out of bed and made its way to the bathroom. i had to get moving, we had a breakfast birthday party to make it to by nine. it was a pajama party and though tempted, i passed on sporting my striped pj pants {as flattering as they may be. not}. after screaming for a good twenty minutes, miley calmed down and was ready to join our morning getting ready to head downstairs. preparation was minimal and i was thankful for that.

the storm was rolling in.

the party was lovely. the company was lovelier, but something was bringing me down. i hadn't even made it to the afternoon, but my emotional state was crumbling and my physical pain was increasing. i've had a hard week with my "symptoms" and living in chronic pain has started getting a piece of me i don't want to give away {i don't want to admit it}. but it's true and it's real. and it's there. something i'm going to need a plan to deal with and a prayer to make it through.

i was craving a nap more than any other day. but with a lot on my mind, i couldn't shut it off long enough to close my eyes. my patience was thinning and i knew myself well enough to know i wasn't going to be a very pleasant mommy when the girls woke up. you know the feeling; irritated. easily frustrated. tired. achy. it was all there, as obvious as the donuts around my eyes. i knew i needed help {something i'm always good at admitting *wink}.

the clouds started breaking up.

i started thinking about calling some friends to hang out with the girls for an hour so i could go have some alone time to organize my thoughts, pray, and paper journal {you remember that, right?}. an argument started in my thoughts about the selfishness behind that request, but knowing how much i needed it...if not, how much my girls needed it. as i was 'arguing with myself' {yes, i do this all.the.time.}, there was a soft knock on the door. i was changing miley, so i told jess to ask who it was. as she opened the door with my permission, i immediately heard the request from a dear friend for the girls to come play. are you serious?, i thought. God, are you s.e.r.i.o.u.s.? yes, He was.

He answered before i had to ask. because that's the kind of friend He is. that's the kind of Abba Father He is.

so i went and had my 'me time'. i was gone for an hour and a half, but because it was so sweet and precious, it felt like three. it gets even better...

after picking up the girls, we were sent home with the girl's favorite dinner - spaghetti. we enjoyed a short, quiet evening together before i put them to bed. they were asleep in five minutes flat...another blessing from above.

blue skies, baby.

when i'm busy noticing just the outline of my day, the profile, God is busy putting His fingerprints in the details...sprinkling His faithfulness like seeds in a garden. and that's how i want to remember the portrait of today. i want to proclaim His love in the presence of my pain. and even though i still have donuts around my eyes, i am praising Him for walking me through my day to the very end.