a cry for help.

i am completely and utterly overwhelmed with one of the most pivotal decisions we have to make concerning jessa's {and one day, miley's} education in the fall.

here's what i have:

jessa is so eager to learn and so super excited to someday go to school. i honestly don't know how she would respond if i told her she would stay home with mommy five days a week instead of venturing off so independently. she enjoys what we do twice a week with her little friends and eagerly calls it "school", asks a gazillion questions about what surrounds her on a daily basis, and is on the verge to taking off with her reading with the right tools and encouragement. all of this is a wee bit overwhelming to be put into my hands to help mold and move in the right direction for her learning skills. homeschooling has always been a little more at the top of the choice list, but with the endless options for curriculum and 'styles', the cost of curriculum, and what would work best for our family are all questions i wish had an 'easy' button.

private school = expensive = out of the question = oh well. there is an option a few miles away that i may look into that offers scholarships to specific seminary students. this may be an option {not getting my hopes up}.

public school {especially kindergarten} in our area is basically not much of an option as well. it makes me too uneasy and looking into other districts is questionable.

as any big decision, i've placed it in capable hands, trusting the Lord will mold His character into what choices need to be made. He led me to Proverbs 4 {amazing!} and an inspirational phone call to my mom. i was homeschooled as an ankle biter, so i knew she would have some insight into some confusion i had about the whole thing. as much as i enjoyed the experience, homeschooling has come a long, long way since the 20 years i found myself studying under my mom and dad at the kitchen table {those were some really good times}.

nothing will ever change though, and that's the fact that homeschooling is so flexible, it's genuine, and it's adaptable to how your child learns. it's a lifestyle - teaching as you live. every opportunity a lesson. it's so much more than that, too...and it makes me wonder if i'm built for discovering its full potential.

i'm taking one year at a time {more like one day, right?}. the beginning of her first grade year will pose the same questions and could very well yield different results. i'm excited to look back in a few months and see where the Lord has brought us and what He's preparing to teach all of us in this process.