simple morning

it was quiet this morning as we took our familiar stroll around the park and to our usual destination. a simple morning. most people out mowing their lawns. weeding their gardens. riding their bikes around the loop. ahh...saturday. the day most take a break from the drudgery of their daily, weekly grind. for us, it's still one of those days. husband putting in his ten hours at work. we get ours soon. i will wait patiently.

on a few updates,

with the positive prospects of someone looking to buy our house, we wait for the final word. and not just anyone. good friends. great friends. friends who would take care of this little treasure trove, making it their own. we would be more than thrilled to hand over keys to a growing, loving family that we've known for years. we pray that He makes it happen.

i have delved into my childhood artist and have been coloring for effortless peace. it's kind of odd just how relaxing it is. i immediately imagine myself, ten, sitting in my mauve bedroom, plopped down at my oak-colored fold down desk, digging through my many cubbies of artistic supplies. i find myself missing those days lately. they were ones to be cherished. my piles of journals. my bins of stickers. my drawers of coloring books. cupboards of drawing books and paper. baskets of pens, crayons and charcoal pencils. now, it's overflowing rooms of scrapbook supplies. some things never change...they just get bigger and more out of control.

jessa has immensely enjoyed learning to write her abc's. her first attempt almost looked like perfection laminated. i was one proud mama. i think she was a little impressed with herself too.
i've been an emotional and physical zombie this week. ok, retract that, more like a month. if i was supposed to call you this week, i apologize for my seven day check out. i'm just so sleep deprived from little miss deciding she doesn't want to sleep a solid amount of time to give this mama some quality rem to charge herself with. it's been more than a month and a half now that miley has chosen to throw small parties in the middle of the night. sometimes for a good hour and a half at a time. however, the last two nights have seemed a bit more promising. optimism is on the horizon. the big 'o' is on the rise. but seriously, i almost feel as tired as i did when i got home from the hospital almost six months ago. my body is shutting down. my focus is becoming fuzzy for anything 'mothering' related. i despise being short-tempered due to lack of patience, which is prompted by my completely exhausted headache. i've quickly become lethargic to attempting anything. as simple as throwing a load of laundry in the wash downstairs seems daunting. washing the dishes seems overwhelming when it is usually a welcoming and relaxing task for me in the past. shuffling my two feet around the house takes as much energy as i can muster some days. and making lunch for myself gets put on the back burner. i don't want to convince myself that i have an easy excuse to be tired. even if i do. i don't want that to encourage laziness or self-pity. cause we all know how easy of a hole that is to stumble into. and super difficult to get out of. i also know self-reliance is not an option. so, here i am, crying out to you, Lord. lift me upon your wings of strength.

i need you.