hand picked

i'm feeling a bit emotionally overwhelmed these last couple of days. i was linked to a blog about a woman who lost her baby only having held her in her arms for two and a half hours after birth. her story and level of strength from the Lord is indescribable. she is, no doubt, a solid woman of faith and integrity to the highest degree. her blog is in my 'beautifully blogged' list labeled bring the rain. despite her deepest despair at this time in her life, her life continues to be beautiful, a testimony of the power of God and grace of Jesus. i was enthralled in her writing, gracing the pages with eloquence and poetic meaning. i couldn't take my eyes off of my computer screen. after a couple of hours of emotional commitment to her life and writing, i had to pull myself away and take it all in. certain things in my life immediately became unimportant. worries seemed pointless in the scheme of a bigger meaning. as my mama said, "that grape juice stain on your new shoes doesn't seem that big of a deal now, does it?" how do i become so sensitive to the smallest, most useless, dumbest little annoyances and desensitized to the things that truly matter? it's so easy. so easy to get wrapped up in everyday hiccups. things that annoy. pester me like an itch i can't reach.

the most incredible part of this women's story is that she had to live with the knowledge of her baby's condition for 14+ weeks. living for a miracle, she still had to cognitively plan for the worse. i remember in one of her posts saying that the two and a half hours she had with her baby girl felt like an eternity. she knew the minutes of the clock were irrelevant, but the impact of her baby's life was eternal. i only pray, with her and her family, that their story brings people to know and love the same God that they serve. her blog is very public and has many readers. she always leaves uplifting, encouraging messages to her readers like this one: "may your home be blessed tonight with the sound of His sweet singing, and may He quiet you with His great, unfailing love…" -angie

to have hope in your darkest hour. to have peace in your ugliest storm. to have comfort in your most unthinkable pain. this is the life she lives. it is a humbling experience for me to read her words. i thank her for sharing her story and impacting a world that needs Jesus. it made me hold my girls a little tighter, with a lump in my gut. it reminded me of the day i surrendered my baby girls to the Lord...the day i saw two pink lines, twice. remembering they are not mine, but His. remembering that i am a steward of His precious gifts. they were hand picked for me. to love, comfort and cherish each day i am sacredly given. they are for me.

ps. the Lord has filled our house with laughter today as miley had her first laughs! the sweet sound filled the air as she discovered her new talent. unfortunately for the rest of the family, i was the only one present for this huge milestone. it took me doing some pretty ridiculous sounds to get a leak of a laugh. i would do it again in a moment to get a millisecond of her laughing again.