squelching.
bubbling.
that's what i felt as i went zipping down the highway this morning. miley screaming. jessa sleeping. my insides rich with worry. too much going on. unexpectedly, thoughts of overwhelming loads of packing and future financial burdens came solid upon my chest. i immediately knew that my worry is a wasted energy that is not a luxury i want to waste. miley's consistant screaming was reflective of my inner cry for help. tears were welling, but found no place to fall. not a few seconds later, i was embraced by a peace. a peace i have felt before.
calming.
soothing.
complete.
i reached deep and pulled it together. i despise being emotionally overwhelmed by things i can't control. and control is such a relative term in my life's journey. control is one of my constant battles that i secretely want to lose everytime. praise be to God that He knows. He controls. and He wins. therefore, not my responsibility when it turns out differently. and i'm okay with that. i'm okay with surrendering responsibility to Him.
and i always have these two little faces to bring a smile to mine!
God will take care of it :) Jon & i just had a conversation over dinner about avoiding situations that might bring about materialistic jealousy....its hard (mostly because we are surrounded by it), but try to shut off the TV for a few days, wrap yourself up in your beautiful girls & a good book, look at your husband when he comes home...try on all the clothes in your closet (trust me, it will quell any shopping desires you might have for at least a month), and remember that God has given each of us exactly what HE KNOWS we can handle :) Hang in there...your faithfulness will pay off!
ReplyDeletethanks j! my financial burdens are concerning seminary in the not-too-far-off future. but i do understand what you mean...:) more clothes and "stuff" is so not what i need right now with all of the packing i already know i have to do! :) thanks for the suggestions for future worries, i appreciate YOU!
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